From the Mouths of Babes

Well, Larry Craig's walk to the gallows continues, and, as I predicted, it doesn't look like it will be a very long one by political standards - nothing like the grueling marathons turned in by the late Messrs. Gonzales and Rumsfeld, anyhow...Which tells you something pretty disturbing: engage in some questionable bathroom antics, and you'll be "pointed towards the exit" (ha ha; see the arrest report) pretty quickly, while if you are demonstrably incompetent and, ahem, untruthful, you can enjoy the support of the President for months on end. Which is not to say that Craig doesn't deserve to go - for being a hypocritical asshole, not for being gay - but just that some things that constitute a capital offense, politically-speaking, seem a little absurd when compared to other crimes that don't...

In any case (Craig's imminent departure notwithstanding), the Bloated Body Politic continues to gorge at the groaning buffet table that is America. Indeed, his appetite is as ravenous as ever. Today, in fact, provides a fine example of how he knows no limits; he is even willing, it appears, to steal sustenance from the mouths of babies. Yes, that's right - the health and well-being of the tiniest, most defenseless Americans is being put at risk because the baby formula industry wants to protect its profits. And who's gonna help them do it? Why, good old Mr. Politic, of course, in this case as represented by the Department of Health and Human Services and "a former chairman of the Republican National Committee," among others. See, these people gots to eat (and buy mansions, and get jobs as formula industry spokespeople and such), and if they gotta put the health of millions of babies at risk to do it, then by golly, they're gonna do it. Yup, it makes me proud. In fact, kinda makes me wanna put on some good ol' Lee Greenwood.

Like I said

Well, that didn't take long, did it?

Only a few hours after that last post comes this report from msnbc titled "GOP lawmakers tell Craig to resign." Not that it wasn't utterly predictable - there's just no good angle on this from a Republican point of view. Best to just get it over and done with as soon as possible. Only question now, as I said, is how long Senator "Wide Stance" wants to hold out for. And, since my crystal ball seems to be working pretty well for the easy questions, I'm gonna say...expect a resignation in the next day or two (maybe he waits 'til Friday afternoon to minimize public attention).

Of course, he is obviously in deep denial about the whole being gay thing, so maybe he can also convince himself that his career isn't dead.

My Mistake

According to Senator Craig: "I am not gay. I never have been gay."

So, scratch that last post, I guess...

Seriously, though, sad as it is, I am a little amused by the political consequences of Craig's hopeless denial: by trying to hang on, he will only prolong and increase the damage to his party (he himself is finished, no doubt). The convenient thing for the GOP would be if he just resigned immediately - get it over with and out of the news. Instead, Craig seems determined to fight on, which will only keep the sordid details in the news for that much longer. Democrats should hope (and when I say "should", I mean "should" by the deeply cynical standards of the BBP) that he drags this out as long as possible - it'll just do that much more to depress Republican voters, energize Democrats, and have corollary effects on both party's fundraising...

That said, I wouldn't expect this to go on too much longer if the Republican leadership can get its way. They want Craig out (uh, of politics, that is) as soon as possible, and I'm sure they are already working on him to end the misery. The only question, then, is just how stubborn Craig really is. (Hopefully (again, by BBP standards), as stubborn as Bush was about Gonzo...and Rummy...and Wolfowitz...and...)

Seamy Senate Sex Scandal

So sad.

Of course, the Body Politic has all the usual desires. We've discussed his love of gravy, and naturally he likes to get freaky every now again. For the most part, his tastes are pretty run-of the-mill - you know, chubby interns half his age, or the occasional Beltway escort girl...But sometimes, he feels a little "confused", a little ashamed. Sometimes his is a love that dare not speak its name...particularly when doing so openly would be seen as massively hypocritical.

And thus we have the latest in a series of GOP sex scandals, Idaho Senator Larry Craig getting caught in an airport restroom soliciting a police officer for... well, I'm not sure exactly what he was after (and I don't care to imagine), but it's safe to assume he wasn't asking his stall-neighbor if he could "spare a square".

Honestly, I don't know what it is with these Republican legislators. I mean, frankly, your friendly BBP Observer (or BBPO) is generally of a live-and-let-live kinda mindset when it comes to consenting adults, but I have to admit a mild thrill of Schadenfreude when a hypocrite like Craig gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar (um, so to speak). Seriously, what is it that compels a homosexual person to join a political party that gleefully and cynically demonizes homosexuals? How can a guy like Craig get up there and bash gay marriage when he's out looking for a far less committed sort of gay relationship in public restrooms? Is it really just that old thing about some of the most ardently homophobic people being closeted gays themselves?

Well, whatever it is, it really is a little sad. Can't imagine why these sort of guys didn't just become Democrats (after all, it's clearly not genuine dedication to party principles that makes 'em Republican). At least as Democrats they could be (relatively) open about their sexuality. Of course, I suppose with a guy as old as Craig, even Democrats were a lot less gay-friendly when he got into politics. So, maybe he got started as a Republican when being a Democrat wasn't significantly preferable, openly-gay politician-wise, and just found it was too late to play for the other team (um, again, so to speak) when things got more tolerant across the aisle.

We're so sorry, Uncle Albert

Okay, not really.

Yes, after months of speculation and near-universal condemnation, Alberto Gonzales has finally resigned as Attorney General. And here we were just writing about him yesterday. Has the mighty BBP already claimed its first victim? Well, we'd love to take credit, but it probably has a bit more to do with all those dastardly politicians who "dragged [Gonzales] through the mud", as Bush so righteously put it. You know, dirty-trick Democrats like Arlen Specter and Lindsey Graham and...oh, wait.

Yes, though we can all be glad to see Gonzo go, it's a little hard to see this as the dawn of good governance, the beginning of a complete scrub-down, if you will, of our old buddy, Mr. Politic. Indeed, it is a testament to the sheer steadfastness of Bush et al. (get it, "al"?) in their corruption that Gonzales was able to hang on for so long. After months of congressional testimony detailing that he was either a) incredibly stupid, such that he couldn't remember major meetings and decisions; b) a bald-faced liar; or, most probably, c) some mixture of the two, it is only now, after the (bi-partisan) chorus of calls for his resignation had grown almost deafening that he has finally gotten the axe (or did he fall on his sword, as Bush claims?; it's so hard to tell with these things). And so, it is hard to take this as a sign of general improvement, except perhaps to think (but how many times have we thought so before?) that we have seen and just ascended from the nadir of Bush's presidency.

In any case, we can reasonably hope that the replacement will be better, if only because the Dems won't let Bush appoint someone too awful (like his butler, or Barney, perhaps). But better than utterly unqualified won't be saying much, and, after all, chances are it will be a lawyer of some sort.

Whistleblowing

So, let's dive right into this muck, shall we?

We begin with a heart-warming story about the war from msnbc: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20430153/. Go ahead, take a gander...

Now, that's a truer picture of the Iraq war than you're ever going to get from your AM radio blowhards or the political hacks they shill for. The whole thing is a vast disaster that has attracted the most verminous elements on both sides - i.e., amongst Iraqis and Americans - and where anyone with a hint of virtue has virtually no chance of making a difference. And, when you consider that it's the Bush administration's Justice Department under his old buddy Gonzales (along with, for example, the military they control) that is protecting the vermin and punishing the virtuous, it ought to make anyone reconsider their defense of them and their policies. These people are thugs - sure, they wear suits and vacation at Kennebunkport and are feted with vomitous hagiographies on Fox News - but they are thugs, all the same, and it is largely the manipulability of the public at large that allows them to proceed with their crimes...Oh, and please spare me the "plausible deniablity" claim that is always trotted out in defense: "Well, Bush wouldn't know about this, Cheney wouldn't know, Gonzales wouldn't know - they're too far removed." Please. Cheney's old company is forcibly detaining whistleblowers (not to mention stealing millions, if not billons, in taxpayer money), and you think they don't know? Ah, but perhaps Bush apologists would say I'm putting words in their mouths. So, which is it, then: Bush and his cronies somehow don't know about the widely reported corruption and are thus unwilling to support those trying to end it (which would be yet another sign of their extreme incompetence), or, more likely, they know all about it and are ruthlessly signing off on the efforts to destroy those who speak out against their corporate benefactors/beneficiaries?

Introduction: from a nearby table...

Well, it's another day, and the bloated body politic is swarming darkly with flies. Oh, don't worry, Mr. Politic is not dead - far from it. He is simply grossly gluttonous, while his hygiene leaves much to be desired. The crumbs of corruption are scattered thickly down the front of his fine three-piece suit, and the gravy of lobbyist largesse runs in rivulets down his greasy triple-chin. The bloat, indeed, is not that of a corpse, but merely good old-fashioned American obesity.

Yes, he is not a pretty sight, and thus, in some sense, an unlikely subject for our observation; certainly, the temptation to simply avert one's gaze is almost irresistible. But he is, after all, an important figure in our lives, and therefore ignored at our own peril. And so here, at the BBP, we will keep a disgusted eye on him. And who knows, perhaps if he senses he is being scrutinized, he will try to be a little less ill-mannered (he has been known, on occasion, to dab daintily at his chin with a napkin, creating a tiny smear of semi-cleanliness which is quickly engulfed again), and if nothing else, we will learn little bit about his ways and this world in which we live.